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程序员伪造一年工作经验
Sweat is running down my face. I’m staring down a blank sublime text document. What on earth am I doing? My hands are resting above the keyboard of my MacBook pro.
汗水顺着我的脸。 我盯着一个空白的崇高文本文档。 我到底在做什么? 我的手放在MacBook Pro的键盘上方。
There is enough friction to cuddle each of the keyboard buttons my fingers are resting on.
有足够的摩擦力来支撑我的手指放在的每个键盘按钮。
It’s like apologizing to them for not using them yet.
这就像对尚未使用它们表示歉意。
It’s late at night, and I’ve decided to jump in head first, creating my own app using React and Firebase.
到了深夜,我决定先入手,使用React和Firebase创建自己的应用程序。
How, I don’t know.
怎么,我不知道。
I only know that I’m going to do it, no matter what my imposter syndrome has to say about it.
无论我的冒名顶替综合症怎么说,我只知道我要去做。
I have made the decision.
我已经决定了
My fingers move. The keyboard hives a sigh of relief in the form of a satisfying click sound.
我的手指动了。 键盘以令人满意的咔嗒声的形式使人松了一口气。
I’m doing it!
我正在做!
Despair, my old friend. Late nights have been a recurring theme over the past week.
绝望,我的老朋友。 在过去的一周中,深夜一直是反复出现的主题。
If anyone hacked my webcam, I would pity them.
如果有人入侵了我的网络摄像头,我会很可惜。
They’d see a wide-eyed, tired, obsessive and wild programmer staring at the screen in an intent manner.
他们会看到一个睁大眼睛,疲倦,执着和狂野的程序员有意地盯着屏幕。
Alas, my compulsive behavior does not allow me to go to bed before every single bug is resolved.
las,我的强迫性行为不允许我在解决每个错误之前就上床睡觉。
Not a very healthy trait for a programmer, but a trait all the same.
对于程序员来说,这不是一个非常健康的特质,但是对于特质却是一样的。
The Ajax requests I put into my application are silently taunting me.
我放入应用程序中的Ajax请求默默地嘲笑我。
Every failed one yelling — “You’re an idiot”.
每一个失败的叫喊声-“你是个白痴”。
Ok, they are not so silent after all.
好吧,他们毕竟不是那么沉默。
At this point, I’m at war.
此时,我处于战争状态。
And you don’t sleep while you’re at war.
在战争中你不会睡觉。
The fight continues.
战斗还在继续。
VICTORY. The enemy is subdued.
胜利。 敌人被制服了。
I wielded mighty Javascript Promises and beat them into submission.
我挥舞着强大的Javascript Promises并击败了他们提交。
Now I’m the one yelling at the Ajax requests. But instead of silently yelling, I’m actually yelling — “Haha, you’re working”.
现在,我是对Ajax请求大喊大叫的人。 但是,我实际上不是在大声喊叫,而是在大喊–“哈哈,您在工作”。
Again, it’s late.
再次,已经晚了。
My girlfriend is not happy.
我的女朋友不开心。
Being a gracious winner is overrated.
作为一个客气的赢家被高估了。
I refactored and broke the entire App. FML!
我重构并破坏了整个应用程序。 FML!
StackOverflow and various tutorial sites on the internet have become my second home.
StackOverflow和Internet上的各种教程站点已经成为我的第二故乡。
I managed to fix the app.
我设法修复了该应用程序。
The app looks like trash. Like super trash, like what a toddler would create, if a toddler could code.
该应用看起来像垃圾。 就像超级垃圾一样,如果幼儿可以编码,就像幼儿会创造什么。
Imagine a toddlers drawing, that is my App. I need CSS.
想象一下一个幼儿绘画,那是我的应用程序。 我需要CSS。
I cringe. It’s time to prepare. Prepare for frustration. Hours and hours of frustration.
我畏缩。 是时候准备了。 准备沮丧。 数小时无奈。
I am not excited.
我不兴奋。
The App looks good!
该应用程序看起来不错!
I’m excited.
我很兴奋。
I realize my desktop layout will never work on mobile.
我意识到我的桌面布局永远无法在移动设备上运行。
I decide to create a different mobile website based on some of the components I already have.
我决定根据已有的组件创建一个不同的移动网站。
I decide to trash the entire visual direction of my website. My mobile site looks NOTHING like my desktop site.
我决定放弃网站的整个视觉方向。 我的移动网站看起来不像我的桌面网站。
For the past 5 days I’ve been on a brilliant coding high.
在过去的5天里,我一直在编写出色的编码。
Splitting and reusing components. Resulting in a great mobile site that looks miles better than the desktop.
拆分和重用组件。 因此,一个出色的移动网站看上去比台式机好得多。
Sure, CSS did cause some frustration.
当然,CSS确实引起了一些挫败感。
Yet, when you’re on top of the rainbow dancing to Bob Marley, not even CSS can bring you down.
但是,当您在向鲍勃·马利(Bob Marley)跳舞的彩虹之上时,甚至CSS都无法使您失望。
It’s 6 AM. I’ve been working all night. I’m going to press the magic button. I’m launching it!
现在是早上6点。 我整晚都在工作。 我要按魔术按钮。 我正在启动它!
I’m tired, but there is no sleep to be had.
我很累,但是没有睡眠。
Instead I’m going to sit and watch Google Analytics for the rest of the day. The world is going to LOVE my product right?
相反,我将在一天余下的时间里坐着看Google Analytics(分析)。 世界将爱我的产品吧?
My brilliant launch strategy is to create one Facebook post. I created the post in a crowded entrepreneurship forum.
我出色的启动策略是创建一个 Facebook帖子。 我在一个拥挤的企业家论坛中创建了该帖子。
One user.
一个用户。
Two users.
两个用户。
Three users.
三个用户。
It’s working!
工作正常!
I have 50 users, great success.
我有50位用户,取得了巨大的成功。
All users are going inactive. There is no activity on the website. Bounce rate is above 80%. I’m crying in the shower. Beer might also be there. And to top it off, it’s my birthday.
所有用户均处于非活动状态。 网站上没有任何活动。 跳出率超过80%。 我在洗澡时哭。 啤酒也可能在那里。 最重要的是,这是我的生日。
I decide to improve the app. First order of business is to improve the visuals of the desktop version to match the mobile.
我决定改进该应用程序。 首先要做的是改善台式机版本的视觉效果,使其与移动设备匹配。
I’m still crying, this time because I know I will have to do CSS again.
这次我仍然在哭,因为我知道我将不得不再次做CSS。
Success! Another enemy conquered. I forced CSS to bend to my will and create an appealing dashboard. Yes, it’s a love / hate relationship, I don’t deny it.
成功! 另一个敌人被征服了。 我强迫CSS 随心所欲 ,并创建了一个吸引人的仪表板。 是的,这是一种爱与恨的关系,我并不否认。
I decide to improve the landing page. Ugh, more CSS.
我决定改善目标网页。 CSS,更多CSS。
I made it out… I didn’t think I would. I decided to experiment with CSS transform. Rotating, scaling, translating. My head is spinning. I can’t even…
我说出了……我不认为会。 我决定尝试CSS转换。 旋转,缩放,平移。 我的头在旋转。 我什至不能...
So tired.
很累。
I’m going to wake up tomorrow and discover that this is all a dream, aren’t I? If so, please don’t give me any more dreams like this. I can’t take it.
我明天要醒来,发现这全是梦,不是吗? 如果是这样,请不要再给我这样的梦想。 我不能接受
I slept for three days. It wasn’t a dream. The App looks good. I am happy.
我睡了三天。 这不是梦。 该应用程序看起来不错。 我很开心。
It’s live:
直播: :
This is a comical representation of my experience developing . An App for tracking and storing your cryptocurrency information. It may be slightly exaggerated, but it’s all true.
这是我开发经历的喜剧形式。 一个用于跟踪和存储您的加密货币信息的应用程序。 可能有些夸张,但这是真的。
翻译自:
程序员伪造一年工作经验
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